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No. I suppose you like doctoring No, I hate it, but there was nothing else to do. The drudgery of the first two years is awful, and unfortunately I haven t got the scientific temperament. Well, you can t go on changing professions. Oh, no. I m going to stick to this. I think I shall like it better when I get into the wards. I have an idea that I m more interested in people than in anything else in the world. And as far as I can see, it s the only profession in which you have your freedom. You carry your knowledge in your head with a box of instruments and a few drugs you can make your living anywhere. Aren t you going to take a practice then Not for a good long time at any rate, Philip answered. As soon as I ve got through my.om all eternity. What do you deduce from that asked Hayward. Why, merely the futility of regret. It s no good crying over spilt milk, because all the forces of the universe were bent on spilling it. u chapter 68 One morning Philip on getting up felt his head swim, and going back to bed suddenly discovered he was ill. All his limbs ached and he shivered with cold. When the landlady brought in his breakfast he called to her through the open door that he was not well, and asked for a cup of tea and a piece of toast. A few minutes later there was a knock at his door, and Griffiths came in. They had lived in the same house for over a year, but had never done more than nod chelsea fc jumper to one another in the passage. I say, I hear you re seedy, said Griffiths. I thought I d come in and see what was the matter with you. Philip, blushing he knew not why, made light of the whole thing. He would be all right in an hour or two. Well, you d better let me take your temperature, said Griffiths. It s quite unnecessary, answered Philip irritably. Come on. 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She played a dreamy waltz, marking the time with the bass, while with the right hand she tiddled in alternate octaves. By way of a change she crossed her hands and p. layed the air in the bass. She does play well, doesn t she Mrs. Hodges remarked to Philip. And what s more she s never ad a lesson in er life it s all ear. Miss Bennett liked dancing and poetry better than anything in the world. She danced well, but very, very slowly, and an expression came into her eyes as though her thoughts were far, far away. She talked breathlessly of the floor and the heat and the supper. She said that the Portman Rooms had the best floor in London and she always liked the dances there they were very select, and she couldn t bear dancing with all sorts of men you didn t know anything about why, you might be exposing yourself to you didn t know what all. Nearly all the people danced very well, and they enjoyed themselves. Sweat poured down their faces, and the very high collars of the young men grew limp. Philip looked on, and a greater depression seized him than he remembered to have felt for a long time. He felt intolerably alone. He did not go, because he was afraid to seem supercilious, and he talked with the girls and laughed, but in his heart was unhappiness. Miss Bennett asked him if he had a girl. No, he smiled. Oh, well, there s plenty to choose from here. And they re very nice respectable girls, some of them. I expect you ll have a girl before you ve been here long. She looked at him very archly. Meet em alf way, said Mrs. Hodges. That s what I chelsea fc jumper tell him. It was nearly eleven.ed he would have asked Foinet to go away. He did not want to know the truth. They went in and the concierge handed him a letter as they passed. He glanced at the envelope and recognised his uncle s handwriting. Foinet followed him up the stairs. Philip could think of nothing to say Foinet was mute, and the silence got on his nerves. The professor sat down and Philip without a word placed before him the picture which the Salon had rejected Foinet nodded but did not speak then Philip showed him the two portraits he had made of Ruth Chalice, two or three landscapes which he had painted at Moret, and a number of sketches. That s all, he said presently, with a nervous laugh. Monsieur Foinet rolled himself a cigarette and lit it. You have very little private means chelsea fc jumper he asked at last. Very little, answered Philip, with a sudden feeling of cold at his heart. Not enough to live on. buffon italy jersey There is nothing so degrading as the constant anxiety about one s me. ans of livelihood. I have nothing but contempt for the people who despise money. They are hypocrites or fools. Money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five. Without an adequate income half the possibilities of life are shut off. The only thing to be cheap 8 a side football kits careful about is that chelsea fc jumper you do not pay more than a shilling for the shilling you earn. You will hear people say that poverty is the best spur to the artist. They have never felt the iron of it in their flesh. They do not know how mean it makes you. It exposes you to endless humiliation, it cuts your wings, it eats into your soul like a cancer. It is not wealth one asks for, but just enough to preserve one s dignity, to work unhampered, to be generous, frank, and independent. I pity with all my heart the artist, whether he writes or paints, who is entirely dependent for subsistence upon his art. Philip quietly put away the various things which he had shown. I m afraid that sounds as if you didn t think I had much chance. Monsieur Foinet slightly shrugged his shoulders. You have a certain manual dexterity. With hard work and perseverance there is no reason why you should not become a careful, not incompetent painter. You would find hundreds who painted worse than you, hundreds who painted as well. I see no talent in anything you have shown me. I see industry and intelligence. You will never be anything but mediocre. Philip obliged himself to answer quite steadily. I m very grateful to you for having taken so much trouble